im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize