Pants 0. Shit 1.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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