A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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