If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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