you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
