Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
