If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize