My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
