Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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