i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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