I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
