Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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