The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
