i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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