omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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