i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
