Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am spending my child support on dildos
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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