I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the day after is always just damage control
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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