he looks like a really good dad on facebook
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
