btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
