therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
