One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
