I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
