I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
