After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
