weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
