just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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