I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
