normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
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Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
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GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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