Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
