conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
