i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize