Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
