Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
