And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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