Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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