I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
