What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
