Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
