thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
