I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
