He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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