Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Semen is not good for contacts.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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