Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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