when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
