I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day â¤ï¸
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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