do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
