I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
