Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
