New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my shit smells like andre
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
