HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do vagina's smell?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
