they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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