Swine flu. Run for my life!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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