Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize