sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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