i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
