i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize