Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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