OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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