Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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