You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just had sex on a roof
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
