I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
