So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
