yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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