I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
